I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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