WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
