covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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