We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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