420 ftw
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
