how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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