ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
