i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
