dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
