none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
