so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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