hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My balls are so social today.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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