I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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