are you still at the devil's house?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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