im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
