I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
