I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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