i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
