hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize