True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
