piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He did a backflip because drugs
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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