adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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