Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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