Screwed.edu
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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