Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize