Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
