i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
