Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize