well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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