I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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