i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
