Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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