Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
