Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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