you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
