i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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