I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
