Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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