id be glad to
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
