I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
