She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize