you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
