she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
