Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
