It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
