so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We need to get me chipped asap
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize