Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Someone shit on the floor
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
