This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
