i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
