He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
