You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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