Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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