ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
