That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
