what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I believe in your delicious
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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