i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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