they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
