I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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