We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
