the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think my moral compass just broke
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize