with your own penis?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
