I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
