Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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