My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
