I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
