I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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