This dress was meant to end up on your floor
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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