Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
