what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
