I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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