I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so let's talk penis.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
