So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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